When I was in my twenties, I always hated when people focused on the Male versus Female thing. It bothered me that women needed “women’s groups� in school or at work because I thought it added fuel to the fire that there was a difference between the two sexes. As I started moving up in the corporate world I got the opportunity to network with a very senior female executive from a big cosmetics company. When I asked her what the most important thing I should consider when choosing a company to work for she said “pick one that is good to women� I was blown away. I never expected to hear this from a successful woman and at the time it sounded quite trite.
Well fast forward many years later.  Now I get it. Like it or not there is a double standard.

It’s easy to dismiss this fact as cliché, but men and women are different. They tend to go about their business differently—and get judged by different standards—you need go no further than the poker table to see this all in action.

It’s the intimidation factor. Poker has a rep of being just for the boys. Do you remember the first time you ever walked into a poker room in a casino? Even the most confident woman will feel some form of trepidation. The first time I walked into one, it was hard to force myself to walk to the other side of the room. I can stand up in a room of 600 people and give a presentation, but the poker room scared me.

In many ways Poker is a legitimized boys club just like much of the companies we all work for.  Just look at the major Poker franchises. The big poker organizations, like WPT & WSOP, really have not fully embraced women yet. They are missing a big opportunity as women are responsible for 80% of consumer spending on products. They need to figure out how to talk to this group beyond just featuring a hot woman in one of their commercials. It’s a mindset they are missing. Women will help elevate the sport, and add a little class. With the exception of Annie Duke and Vanessa Russo, the women of poker have not really been given the visibility and the opportunity men have. The women of poker need to be better business people and take advantage of their popularity, and poker’s popularity, while they still can.  I think women could help clean-up and refine the reputation of the game.

There has been much discussion lately on whether or not there should be all women’s tournaments. As much as it pains me to say this, I believe it is good for the game. Yes, separating men from women perpetuates that there is a difference between the sexes. However, I think that the all-female events encourage more women to get in the game. I know from the students I teach that these beginners are much more comfortable entering an all female event. So while in the short run the same- sex table may seem like a set back, long term if it gets more women comfortable with the game it will be a good thing.

We all know that women have always coped with a double standard when it comes to being judged for the same actions, qualities, or achievements as men. An aggressive woman is often labeled as “bitchy� while if a man plays the same way, with the same actions and bravado, then he is congratulated.

Look at what happened at the 2008 World Series of Poker Main Event. Tiffany Michelle was the only woman to make the top 20, and the media focused on her intensely. Michelle played aggressively, with a lot of attitude, as many men have before her. At one point, she called “the clock� on a player in a big hand. The backlash she received was extreme. The men at the table, and later the poker media and online forums, tore her apart for what they called a horrible breach of poker etiquette. In fact if you watch her on TV she does come off as being somewhat obnoxious and antagonistic. However we know they edit the footage to make for good TV. In several online interviews she explains that the rapidly escalating blinds caused her to call the clock to protect her chip stack. Now flash forward to several months later, to the World Series of Poker Europe, where a male player, Bengt Sonnert, faced a nearly identical situation. With about 20 players left in the competition, he called “clock� on an important hand that was taking too long. This time, however, no one at the table, in the media, anywhere, made a peep of protest. I guess men are expected to behave this way but women are not.

So then what do you do about the double standard? First, accept that it exists. It’s there, it’s unfair, but you can thicken up your skin and make it work for you. In fact you should learn to embrace it. Use it to your advantage whether it is in poker, business, romance or even politics.

As I discuss in my new book, PokerWoman: How to Win at Love, Life, and Business Using the Principles of Poker, when Hilary Clinton became the first woman to put in a serious bid for the presidency, she resisted using her feminine wiles. At times she went on the offensive against her opponent, turning on the aggression. That would be ok as we need a strong President. However she seemed to be fighting her more feminine traits, her vulnerability, her heart, her appearance which could have worked to her advantage. And so even though Clinton possessed the intelligence necessary for the position, the end result was that she came across as unlikable. Sarah Palin, on the other hand, absolutely relied on her feminine wiles while on the campaign trail. She portrayed herself as a mother, a best friend, and even sometimes a bookish sex symbol. And, in fact, the public loved her persona—that is, until she began to appear less and less intelligent. But what might have happened had Hilary Clinton let herself come across in a similar way to Palin, as vulnerable, motherly, and feminine—while having the chops to back it up? A woman need not always play like a man to get ahead. She has her own chips, and if she plays them in her own style but with skill and strategy, her chances of success at the poker table and in life is very high. Guys have no trouble asking for and going after what they want. Women are told not to offend, not to be “bitchy.� But no criticism should stop you from going after what you want and getting it.

” Tears, Texts, Tweets and Texas Hold’em” along with a night of telephone calls, I was able to see my 21 year old step-daughter through a rite of passage . She moved into her first rat-hole NYC apt with her boyfriend when his buddy shows up , duffel-bag in tow and moves in too. Boy-friend didn’t tell her the buddy was coming to STAY for the whole summer. It was her first day at her new job, her bf isn’t around and I’m the parent -on-call. An inconsolable 21 year old is formidable. So, I take out the cards and start putting out hands. With great patience and position ( i know she needs me), she eventually comes around. When there are cold cards i tell her how to make a good fold before getting to invested. When there are middle cars , I show her how to bet for information . When 2 Jacks show up in the hold , I show her how it may look good but to procede with caution. When pocket aces come up , it’s time to be happy and watch what the others do because trip deuces can indeed ‘trip’ you up.
The whole game become allegory for the night. It was wonderful !!

PokerPrimaDivas came out to support a great cause:
The Buoniconti Fund to Cure Paralysis with
“The Poker4Life www.poker4life.org charity

Don’t be a hero

At a recent $2000 qualifier for the $10,000 World Poker Tour (WPT) main event in Atlantic City I played my heart out and learned some interesting poker lessons along the way. Before we get to the poignancy of the lessons learned, allow me to introduce myself. I’m a semi-retired Psychiatrist and although I care for my patients beyond the limits of Hippocrates, after 25 years of practice, I must secretly admit that I enjoy playing poker far more than listening to people’s problems. Still, I haven’t given up my day job quite yet. I was introduced to poker like so many others, in high school, playing (and mostly losing) 7 card stud with my friends. I continued playing (and losing money) in college and medical school as well. I was clueless and blissfully ignorant in my belief that poker was predominantly a game of luck with no skill component.

Then in January 2005 my father introduced me to on-line Texas Hold-em on the Internet when he entered and won a hefty $9,000 in a Party Poker tournament. I was impressed, I was interested, I was jealous. If dear old dad could do it then so could I. After all, I followed in his hallowed professional footsteps; surely I could also master this “new� and exciting form of poker. I started playing on-line but was still quite clueless. I lost quite a lot of money my first two years playing. As with all endeavors of the intellect I started studying poker, reading books about poker, discussing poker with my similarly addicted friends, and slowly and surely getting better and better and even winning some money in some nice on-line tourneys. My greatest feat (at the time) was turning a $24 on-line qualifier into a $10,000 entry and finally into a $16,000 cash at a WPT main event in 2006 at the Borgata Casino in Atlantic City. Although I fancied myself the grizzled, on-line poker veteran by this time, I was still very much the novice. Day 1 of the WPT tournament, I was seated at the same table as “The Grinder�, Michael Misrachi, and the fearsome Eric Lindgren. The most unsettling moment came when I re-raised “The Grinder� pre-flop with pocket aces. He smiled after a second, and just before mucking his hand said, “It must feel real good holding the bullets�. I was startled at his uncanny read but didn’t show him my hand. He ended up winning the whole tourney. A true professional and a really nice guy to boot.

Time passed and my play improved. I started doing consistently well in on-line tournaments with some really great results in some very big tournament. I actually became a winning player, making more money then I put in. If it hadn’t been for all my transgressions at the cash table and transferring money to friends and family I would have seen a tidy profit. Soon, tiring of the on-line tournaments I hungered, once again, for a live tournament and decided on a whim to take a shot in the $2,000 qualifier to win a seat at a $10,000 main event at another WPT event.

I played my game and held my own for a while. Had the usual ups and down but managed to hang on to most of my initial $10,000 in chips. Then I picked up the dream hand, 2 aces, pocket rockets, the bullets. Bill, an overly aggressive player had pocket 10’s and another player QQ. I managed to get them both all-in, got my money in good, happily saw my Aces hold up and tripled up to a little over $30,000 in chips and tightened up for a while. Seeing as how this was a qualifier tournament there quite literally was no prize for second place (or in the case of this tournament, 66th place). The top 65 finishers would all win a seat in the main event worth $10,000, and potentially millions! There was no difference whether you were 65th or 1st, they both won the same amount. Of course there was a HUGE difference between coming in 65th or better and coming in 66th or worse. That was why I played a fairly conservative style to minimize my variation and reduce the swings of luck to make sure I came in 65th place or better.

Meanwhile, A young gentleman took the recently vacated seat on my left. We all quickly learned from him that he had recently done very well in a live tourney and that he was very fond of his own poker “super powers�. I figured him for a real “Playa�. Someone looking to move up to the big leagues with little regard for his “poker safety� (i.e. going broke). This idea was bolstered when everyone folded to me on the button and I raised 3 times the big blind to $1200 with KJ suited. He hesitated, and went over the top with another $4000. Well when you’re holding KJ you hate being re-raised (although admittedly something was fishy about his raise). However, I (possibly foolishly) ignored my gut feelings, and decided on the safe (and less volatile) play and mucked my hand. When I asked him later, he confirmed my suspicions, admitting that he had 56 suited. Raising from the button, ambitious, aggressive, players will try to make a move on you, especially if you have a tight conservative image. There appears to be a widely held belief in the young poker community that the only thing separating average players from the legends is the ability to re-raise, pre-flop with low suited connectors. A misconception to say the least and had I had more time to observer and play against this opponent it would have simply been a matter of time before I busted him.

As it turned out, it was not to be. My table was broken up soon after and with just under $30,000 chips I took seat one at the new table next to the dealer. I had a good look at the two players seated to my left. Those are some of the most important players for me in the tournament. The guys I have to steal the blinds from. The fellow on my immediate left in seat two, an older gent seemed like a very solid conservative player. The fellow on his immediate left, 2 seats over from me made me a little nervous. He was in his mid-twenties, in obviously good shape with a form-fitting shirt and a serious demeanor. He could possibly be a “sheriff�, or even worse, a “hero�. Then I saw the most remarkable hand. The older, conservative player went all-in from early position, and the young man called instantly on the short stack. He immediately said, “don’t worry, you’re ahead, I’m getting so short I have to play�, as he turns up a J 6 of spades. Of course, the older conservative player had a nice hand; AK, which quickly loses when a Jack turns. Now I’m far from a perfect player, but one thing I would never do is call an all-in (no mater how short-stacked I am) if I have nothing but the ante invested and I KNOW I have the worse hand. I’d rather push all-in in an un-opened pot with 72 than call an all in with J6 suited. The old fella was a good sport and maintained his composure I might add. But I wasn’t pleased having this young, reckless gambler in the big blind when I had the button.

As the hours passed, my stack started dwindling to below $20,000 with about 120 players left and only 65 getting the main event ticket, I started pushing all-in into almost every unopened pot. In this satellite, one doesn’t have to win the tournament or even make the final table to enjoy a profit, one simply has to stay alive until 65 (place that is). My fellow players all want to stay just as alive, so for them, calling an all-in bet of $20,000 or over is very, very hard to do. Nobody wants to put their whole tournament in jeopardy. So after pushing I showed the table some of my stronger hands like KK, and 99. However, I also pushed with A10s, and AQ, and even A8. No one called and I stole the blinds and maintained my relative position in the tournament.

Then I’m dealt K10 off suit on the button and everyone folds to me. There are now 90 players left. I’m already fantasizing about my rematch with the Grinder. I’m so close I can smell it, taste it, FEEL IT! The blinds are fairly large at $1,000 - $2,000, with antes of $300. I have $24,000 left. I announce, “I’m going all-in againâ€�, and look away from the two opponents yet to call in the blinds. The small blind folds but suddenly I hear the words I most dread “How much is it?â€� Oh no! Is he serious? He’s not going to… “Call!â€�. He flips over AJ off suit, and 5 cards later I am out at 85th place. Stunned, I stand and stagger a few steps back as he starts justifying his call to an obviously ecstatic table â€�against anyone else I would’ve folded…â€� someone agrees “he was going in all the time…was due to get caught.â€� No one likes a thief, everyone was glad to move 1 step closer to the money, and no-one cares about a loser. The young man was a “heroâ€�. As for me, I’m just the idiot who risked $24,000 with K10 off suit when the blinds were just $1,000 and $2,000!

Exhausted, slightly humiliated, and feeling like a real dope, I head for the car and the long drive home, tail firmly tucked between my legs, obsessing about my failure. How could a tight, aggressive player like myself fail after playing so well? I only had to be 1 in 5 to win but I came up short?

And what about the fateful hand? Did I screw up? Should I have folded my better than average, yet still relatively weak hand. Here’s my analysis. With the $300 chip antes, there was $6,000 in every starting pot. That means I could only survive 4 more rounds before being completely blinded out. If I waited, my all-in moves would become easier and easier to call. With $24,000, opening the pot all in was still very hard to call. Against 2 random, blind hands, my K10 offsuit did actually rise in value back to it’s original better than average status. The interesting thing is that I don’t believe either pushing or waiting there are incorrect moves. Both can be argued as being correct for different reasons. And his call? He sensed my weakness and called with the better hand. Great call right? Not necessarily, because he was only a 60-40 favorite and if he lost he’d be down to $16,000 chips…. dropping from a near lock, to probably not making it. I believe he demonstrated precisely how NOT to play a satellite. He was a “sheriff� (keeping the table “honest�) who became a “hero� (getting rid of another player so everyone moves closer to the money), and those are the players you fear. They increase volatility and can casually dash your dreams with the offhand flick of the wrist. A lot had to go wrong for me that day, and unfortunately, a lot did.

So the lesson I learned, dear reader, is to avoid the would be “sheriffs� who would be “heroes�. Beware the player, who would gamble his whole tournament away on a marginal call just to “keep ‘em honest�. Going all-in gives you 2 ways to win. Calling all-in only gives you 1 way. Many players fail to ever realize this subtle, yet incredibly important detail. It must also be pointed out that I learned to make sure I always adapt to table conditions and must concede the fact that I can only push people around so much before they will take a stand and try to become…

“Heroes�

Interview with Amnon Filippi, professional Poker Player – “The Reader�

I had the chance recently to chat with Poker Professional, Amnon “Guts� Filippi.  He’s had some exciting wins over the past few years, including making the final table at the $50,000 buy-in H.O.R.S.E. championship at the 2007 World Series of Poker, finishing fourth for $586,080. His professional lifetime winnings total: $1,683,245.  He talks about the importance of reading other people.

Filippi’s rise into the poker world started at Yeshiva University High School in his hometown, New York City, playing seven-card stud with his friends.  A few of those friends suggested he try his luck at some of the private rooms around New York.  This is where his real poker education began.   Filippi states that he learned by observing, both the cards played and the players playing them.  He began to realize that there were really good players in the private rooms, ones to watch, yet avoid; and some really bad players, who were really there to spend their money and have a good time.  These were the people he sought out to play, and he’d sit down, play some cards with them, show them a good time and take their money.  With the winnings from the poker rooms in Queens, and some encouragement from friends he ventured down to Atlantic City to try his hand at the casino tournaments.  In September 2003 Filippi entered the US Poker Championship Seven Card Stud tournament at the Taj Mahal, in Atlantic City, NJ with a $300 buy-in.  He came in 4^th place and won $3,660.  This was his very first casino tournament, but it surely would not be his last.  A month later he came in 3^rd place at 2003 World Poker Finals, Seven Card Stud, cashing in at $10,575, at Foxwood Resort and Casino, in Ledyard, CT.

Filippi says he enjoys the money, and the travel that professional poker playing provides him.  Filippi handles his own bankroll, and did admit there are times when things get tough.  I asked him how he handles the low’s of the game - he had this to say, “If stand in front of a bus 80 times, one out of those 80 times, you’re going to get hit…. it’s a number’s game, you just keep playing and eventually things will turn around.�   He recommends to anyone who’s new to the game to pay attention, and read the players.  “There is so much you can learn, just by watching people.�  I asked him how he thought poker and business related to each other and he plainly stated, “know who you are dealing with,� either in business or in cards.  I know this much, I know who’ll I’ll be watching in the poker world!  Amnon Filippi.