We were doing an event recently for a group that wasn’t a typical audience for us.
As guests filled the room and took their seats, I suggested to one of the women that she move seats so she would have a better view of the presentation.
She looked at me and said, “We’re just going to do 15 minutes of learning and then play, right?”
I said, “No, it’s a full program.”
She gave me a look.
And that was all it took.
I immediately started second guessing myself.
Maybe I should shorten it.
Maybe I should just do a quick lesson and let them play.
Maybe this group isn’t going to like the full program.
Nothing had actually changed. But I started talking to myself.
That’s trash talk.
We talk about trash talk in poker all the time. People try to throw you off your game. They rush you. They make comments. They try to get in your head.
But the worst trash talkers are not the people at the table.
The worst trash talkers are ourselves.
We talk ourselves out of our decisions.
We question what we know works.
We adjust based on one comment instead of staying grounded in strategy.
I caught it.
And I did not change a thing.
I delivered the full program exactly the way it was designed.
And the response was incredible.
That moment could have gone very differently if I had listened to that voice.
This shows up everywhere, not just at the poker table.
In meetings.
In presentations.
In negotiations.
Someone says something, gives you a look, or reacts in a way you did not expect, and suddenly you are adjusting, softening, or pulling back.
Not because it’s the right move, but because you got in your own head.
If you want to stay sharp, you have to manage that.
Here are three ways to do it.
First, do not let one comment override what you know works.
One person’s reaction is not the strategy.
Second, catch the self-talk early.
The moment you start second guessing, recognize it for what it is before it takes over.
Third, stay committed to your plan.
Adjust when there’s a reason to adjust, not because of noise.
You cannot control what people say.
But you can control whether you let it change your game.
Because the worst thing you can do is start playing against yourself.
