The 4 Ways You Sabotage Your Own Success (Without Realizing It)
Most people don’t lose in business or life because they lack skill or talent. They lose because they take themselves out of the game one of two ways:
- Folding too early, before they’ve even played the hand.
- Doubling down on hands they know are losers, hoping for a miracle.
Both drain your chips, energy and time and neither moves you closer to winning.
Here’s how it shows up and how to stop the sabotage spiral:
1. Assuming “No” Before You Ask
You want the raise, the bigger role, the flexibility. But you never ask because you “know” the answer will be no. You wait for the “right time” … and it never comes.
How to fix it: Stop deciding for other people. Make the ask clearly and confidently with proof of your value. Even if it’s no, you’ve marked yourself as someone who knows their worth. That sticks and will build your confidence to do it again the next time.
2. Letting One Bad Hand Define You
You missed a sale. Froze during a presentation. Got passed over for a project. Instead of learning, you retreat. You fold not just the hand, but the whole game.
How to fix it: The best players don’t avoid mistakes; they use them. Review, recalibrate, and ante back in. Resilience wins more pots than perfection.
3. Waiting for Perfect Cards
You hold off on pitching the idea, launching the service, or making the introduction because the timing isn’t perfect. Meanwhile, others move first and take your win.
How to fix it: Play the hand you’ve got. Perfect is a trap; momentum is a weapon.
4. Getting Involved in the Wrong Hands
Self-sabotage isn’t just about quitting too soon—it’s also about saying yes to the wrong things in the first place. We commit to toxic partnerships, time-sucking projects, or deals that were bad bets from the start, hoping they’ll magically turn around.
How to fix it: Learn to spot the odds before you sit down. If the deal, project, or relationship doesn’t have a real chance of paying off, don’t ante up. Protect your time, energy, and reputation for the opportunities that actually move you forward.
Before your next big decision, ask yourself:
Am I folding because I’m scared to play… or betting because I’m scared to walk away?
Play strategically. Enter and fold wisely. And when you’re in be all in.
That’s how you win.
